Breaking with Tradition: Family Connections
In today’s world, you’d be hard-pressed to find more than a handful of people who traveled from childhood to adulthood in the 2 parent, ideally classic American home. In fact, such a situation is so rare that anyone touting it would be the exception and not the rule. As such, family ties tend to be a little more extended and unique than is typically defined. After giving this situation much thought, here are a few suggestions I’ve come up with to help your big day reflect an extended/single parent family situation without loosing any of the event’s warmth.
Down the Aisle:
I often joked with my mom about how stressful my wedding would be simply because I had 3 fathers, none of whom were as monumental to my life as she was. This is often the case when kids are raised by one parent after a divorce or separation. As such, the decision about who is to escort the bride during her trek down the aisle may not be an easy one to make. So I say, why not forego that choice. If your mom is the one you feel deserves the honor, then give it to her. If you have 3 fathers like I do, have them all escort you down the aisle. If you have a friend or family member who is more suited for the task, then let him/her complete it. The aisle walk is no longer about “giving away” a daughter to a man’s family. It’s symbolic for the journey of two houses, two families coming together, and the person or people most important to you shouldn’t be excluded from that moment.
Family Dance:
Traditionally, the father/daughter dance and the more modern mother/son dance are the next biggest dances after the newlyweds’ first dance. As with the walk down the aisle, such moments can be awkward or difficult when familial bonds aren’t so cut and dry. So, why not nix both dances and have a single dance in which all family members converge upon the dance floor for a massive groove session? This will ensure a good time without leaving any person in particular feeling snubbed.
Honorary/Family Table:
Seating at the reception is a big deal. Typically, 2 tables are reserved close to the head table for parents, grandparents and other close family members. This can be trouble if you have feuding parents, grandparents, and/or step-parents. There are two ways that you can possibly pull-off a harmonious event in this situation. The first is to completely do away with the honorary tables. Organize the tables so that the head table is center and equal distance to all of them. Leave seating unarranged so that individuals who do not wish to sit together do not have to, and individuals who desire to sit together may do so. The second option is to either have one huge family table for parents, grandparents, step-parents, and others or have 3 or more tables close to the head table. Other family members can act as buffers between warring factions of your family, or the extra tables can help them steer clear of each other while maintaining their honorary position.
Weddings are supposed to be about unity, family, and above all love. When you feel a traditional practice takes away from either of those key elements, it is a good sign that you should break with that tradition. Your bond and your big day will be all the more special because of it.
Tags: nontraditional, unusual wedding, wedding, wedding practices
